The Story of Us
To my best friend in the whole world.
The Tenant of My Own Life
Before we met, I was a ghost in my own story. I traveled, I bought toys, I filled my days with noise, but the silence underneath was deafening. Everyone in my life felt like a visitor—temporary fixtures who arrived when they needed something and vanished when I needed them.
“No one was ever there when I needed them.”
The Spark
Then came the day the colors started to bleed back in. You walked into my office with Josh, and I couldn’t look away. I didn’t know what it was yet—just a magnetic pull I hadn’t ever felt.
I was terrified to trust. I had built walls so high I couldn’t see over them. I pushed you away. But you? You just sat on the floor by my desk, refusing to leave until I finished work like an obedient kitty cat. The more I pushed, the harder you fought.
“Mere!”
We didn’t need pet names. Just that one word, a call to each other. By October 2023, the adventures began. Michigan. The aquarium. No penguins that time, but it started our tradition. Texas, Florida, Georgia… we found penguins eventually.
Work trips used to be grayscale obligations. With you, they became vibrant explorations. You waited patiently while I worked, just to pester me with texts the second I was free. I was starting to realize: you were the most patient heart I had ever met.
Pittsburgh job site
Miami & Acai Bowls
February 2024. You fought your family and your job just to be there with me. That was the moment travel changed for me. It wasn’t about the destination anymore; it was about the ability to make the prettiest girl in the world happy.
The Railroad Tracks
This was our foundation. The walks. Down the tracks, off the trail, through the mud. It didn’t matter where. When we were out there, the static of the world went silent.
April & May: The Turning Point
I had to fly to Texas and Nevada alone. This sparked our first argument. I thought it was over. But we worked through it. We overcame. And in May, we rebuilt stronger than ever.
You spent nights at the shop sweeping and organizing boxes, working on the roof with me. Every night we spent there was for our long-term future.
Unstoppable Summer
June and July. Coudersport, Atlantic City, Benezette. We were unstoppable. Every day together made us happier.
The Realization
I realized I needed you with me all the time. I flew you to Georgia, then Texas. Port A became our favorite place. Just that one day of adventures was enough to justify 50 flight tickets.
You sleeping in the car because you refused to leave me. That proved how much you loved me.
My Best Birthday
September 2024. All you had to do was be there.
The Christmas Walk
Fall and Winter 2024. Vermont, temper tantrums at corn mazes, and our Christmas walk. I will never forget it.
The House vs. The Home
I made a mistake that men have made for centuries. I thought that loving you meant building a kingdom for you.
When I was in the shop late, or stressing over business, I wasn’t seeing “money.” I was seeing a farm in Coudersport. I was seeing animals in the yard. I was seeing you having the freedom to spend all day with our future children without ever worrying about a bill.
What I Was Building
“I wanted a future where you were safe.”
What I Lost
“I forgot that Angel needs me now. Not later.”
I stopped focusing on your smile to focus on the bottom line. I let you take care of me when I was sick, but I didn’t pause to take care of you. I realized too late: You didn’t need the farm in ten years. You needed the back tickles and the Animal Crossing nights right now.
January 2026
When my Grandma went to the hospital, you were there. You cooked. You cared. You told me you still loved me. Seeing you care for her woke me up. I realized I needed to dedicate my time to making you happy.
A Letter to My Angel
You call me “Lil J.” I’m over six feet tall, but I love it. Because when I’m with you, I don’t have to be the tough guy. I can just be yours.
In your letter, you wrote, “I hope one day you’ll realize I’m worth it.”
Mere, you were worth it from the moment you insisted on paying for half of that Nintendo Switch just so we could play Animal Crossing together. You were worth it every time you sat in the bathroom for an hour getting ready—even though I think you look just as beautiful before you start. You have always been worth it.
I know I pushed you. I pushed about the gym, about water, about vaping. I know it felt like judgment, but it was fear. I want the mother of my children to be healthy. I want you around forever to chase our kids on that farm I’m trying to build. I wasn’t trying to change who you are; I was trying to ensure we have a “forever” to grow into.
“I am so proud of you every single day.”
When you wrote that line, it broke me. The last woman to look at me with that kind of pride, the last person to make me feel that kind of love, was my mother. You are the only person who has filled that silence since she passed.
We work through things differently. You want to fix it now; I want to go quiet. But I promise you this: I am done being quiet.
The Utah Trip
I booked the trip to Utah. The one I’ve wanted to take you on for years. The walk to outdo them all.
It was supposed to be our reset button. Now, it sits there, waiting.
The trip is booked. The chair is empty.
If you hit that button, I’m not just asking to date you again. I am making a promise.
I promise to put you first.
I promise that the “Home” comes before the “House.”
I’m waiting, Mere.